Are there
things that compel us to do what we do?What guides us in our choices of what we become in life, our professional choices, our educational choices, etc. Could it be our beliefs to some extent? Yes, psychologists say that we make many decisions in life based on how we see ourselves, and how we perceive what we can become in life. I guess this boils down to our “beliefs” – what is possible for us in life.
When I mention beliefs, most people immediately relate this in some way to religion. That is not the belief that I’m referring to, although that is one type of belief of course. I’m talking about what you believe to be true for yourself and your future. What you believe, deep down, about yourself internally. Our beliefs about who we are can be created by many things, mostly by our environment and how we were brought up. In addition, our experiences in life have a great impact on our beliefs. What were you taught when you were young about the possibilities for your future, what occupation you should pursue, how much income you would have?
If you’re like most people, including myself, not much was ever said about what was possible for you, so you just looked around and made your own assumptions. If you grew up in a small town where nearly everyone worked in a coalmine, then your future looked very dark, literally. However if you grew up in a well-to-do area where nearly everyone was college educated and had either a solid profession or a business, then you probably saw many more possibilities for yourself. Regardless, other factors have a great impact on your beliefs.
One of the most important things that effect our beliefs is the way we talk to ourselves internally. When you are presented with a task, either at school or at your job, if you tell yourself there’s no way I’m going to get this done, then chances are you won’t! When I say “tell yourself”, that’s exactly what we do, by a method known as internal dialog. We don’t of course consciously tell ourselves, but on an almost subconscious level we have mini-conversations with ourselves every minute of every day! They are constant and never ending, and cause us to make decisions that are vital to our lives. Wouldn’t it be better if we had more control over these decisions, these thoughts that are constantly bouncing around in our heads? In order to change our actions, we must learn (through habit) to control this dialog as much as possible in order to control our actions. Internal dialog is such a major force in our lives that we must learn to change, and use it to our benefit instead of our detriment. Of course, it may be impossible to control completely, because external forces are always causing us to lose our focus in so many ways. But believe me the sooner you learn to believe in what you can do in a positive way, and block out all of the negative self-talk that floods most peoples minds, the sooner you will be on your way to reaching your goals. At the end of this book I have some exercises that will help, make sure to check those out!
Most people have other beliefs that need to be changed as well, ones that cripple us every day without our even knowing it. Limiting beliefs about not only what we can or can’t do, but also what we deserve in life. Many people unfortunately have a negative self-image that limits them in life, almost like a “governor” on a large engine that only allows 50% of the power to be used! This negative image is a constant nagging reminder that says “I’m not good enough” or “I could never make a million dollars”. Don’t believe it for one minute! The only difference between the mindset of someone that makes a million dollars and one that makes $20K a year as a sales clerk is BELIEF in what they can do. You must begin right now to tell yourself every day that you are indeed capable of becoming whatever you wish to become, whether it’s a millionaire, successful at your chosen career, an actor/actress, a writer, or whatever your goals are. Remember, if anyone can do it, you can repeat that persons success by first believing that you can do it, then following their example and modeling their behavior.
There are many ways to model another persons behavior, you can find a mentor and copy their strategies for success at whatever skill you need to learn. Even learning from a book about this person, if you can’t find a mentor that can teach you directly, will suffice. The key is to learn how others perform and duplicate their process, whether you are learning to ski, trade stocks on Wall Street, or run a business successfully. The principles need to be learned from someone who is already successful, and copying someone that’s already doing what you want to be skilled at will help speed this process.
Another very important aspect of belief is a little thing called “self-esteem”, something many people are woefully short on. The problem with building self-esteem is that our belief in what we can accomplish in life is so embedded in our minds by the time we are adults, it takes a very strong process to repair if it is damaged. You see a lot of our beliefs are formed when we are quite young, by accident or by someone simply telling us we are “stupid” or we’ll “never amount to anything”, or similar words that sink into our subconscious and take hold without our knowing it. In order to change our thoughts internally and thus our beliefs, we must change that thought process. How do we do it? By talking to our subconscious mind, repeating phrases that help to strengthen our self-esteem once again. This may sound strange to some people but try this anyway; it works and has worked for thousands of people. Write several phrases down on paper, things that you want to believe in that will improve your self-esteem, and repeat them to yourself at least twice a day in the morning and before going to bed at night. Things such as “I can accomplish anything in life I desire”, or “my success is up to me, and I chose to be successful”. From now on make sure that you have a strong conviction that anything you want in life can be accomplished, because your belief will make it so. If at first you aren’t sure you really believe it with all your heart, continue to “act” as if you do anyway. In time, your beliefs will be in step with the new you. Remember that beliefs held for a long time may change slowly, but with a powerful desire and passion to change them you are destined for success and happiness. This I assure you…
To your continued success and happiness!
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